Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sober January is a disaster.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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