My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
