sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I would ride that face into the sunset
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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