margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
