I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize