Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
