My underwear smells like fireworks.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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