You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
