This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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