is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Randomize