I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize