For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we're making bets on your personal life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
