just tell him i said nine months
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
