As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
