dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
