Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
