Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
