I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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