very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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