i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
MIDGETS
????
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize