I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
