I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
