You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
