I got chris browned last night
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
