someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Less talking, more tequila
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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