She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
