Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
