Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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