I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just want to make out with him forever
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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