You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i drank out of a bidet.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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