clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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