Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
