my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize