Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We were destined to go to rehab together
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
