Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
