if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
In America we eat man semen.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize