I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize