have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
