i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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