i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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