You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize