He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize