Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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