im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
