i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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