The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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