wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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