that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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