honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
