hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I think my fart just growled at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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