so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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