She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
