I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
