i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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