is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
