dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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