Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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