I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize