I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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