it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
