i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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