the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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