Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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