Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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