Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
