I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
