tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I think my moral compass just broke
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
