This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
