At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
