and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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